Hilarious Times!

So last night I went with a bunch of friends from work out to eat at Iggy’s. My friend Jessica and I just ordered smoothies because we weren’t really hungry, and didn’t want to stay long because it was late and we had other things to do. So we got and drank our smoothies, got the bill, paid, and left.

She had driven me over to Iggy’s from Costco, and so she dropped me off at my car. However, we got to talking, and chatted for a while in her car. Meanwhile, she had to go to the bathroom really bad! So, we’re in the middle of the Costco parking lot, and she cannot hold it any longer. There’s no way she can run back to Iggy’s or to anywhere else for that matter, without wetting her pants. So, at that point I tell her she should just go in the parking lot because we don’t really have too many options unless she wants warm, wet pants. We get out of the car, unsure where she should go, and decide she can’t go next to the building because there are security cameras, so I grab some tissues from the car, and we run across the parking lot to a “secluded” area that was actually directly beneath a large street lamp, and right next to the road. Jessica is freaking out, and is so nervous, and I just keep telling her she doesn’t really have a choice anymore, so she gets ready to go, and is just about to, when I see a car coming, and tell her to stop. It turns out the girl in the car didn’t even see us as she drove by, but we are laughing hysterically at this point, which is most likely making Jessica’s problem even worse. As the “look-out” I told her everything looked clear, and so she proceeded to do her business.

Jess & I with our smoothies

After that, we ran back to our cars, and realized hers wouldn't start because she hadn’t turned her car lights off while we were chatting. I asked her if she had jumper cables, and she produced a set of very frayed cables. She wasn’t sure at all how to proceed, but I felt like we could figure it out. So we get them out, and after much trouble get both of the hoods of our cars opened. Since we were having so much trouble getting the hoods opened, we called our friend Melinda, to see if there were still people at Iggy’s who could come by and help us. She assured us she was getting her check, and would be right over. Just following our conversation with Mel, we were able to get the hoods opened, and so I decided we might as well just get things started. So I hooked up the jumper cables to her battery, the red or positive end on the reddest part of her battery and the black or negative end to the other part. Then I attached on end of the cables to my battery, and as I attached the other end to my battery the cables and or the battery sparked like crazy! Needless to say, we were both terrified, especially because the neither car was on. We decided we’d better play it safe, and wait for back-up, and a few minutes later Mel, Eric, and Dave appeared to help us. Apparently the black end of the cable was attached to the red part of her battery. In my defense, it was dark, and both of the parts were stained with some protective coat to keep them from corroding. So, everything ended up fine, and the guys were able to get us both on our way.

All-in-all the night was a delicious, hilarious bladder exploding, near death experience!